why keep going
why keep writing?
there is no depth in being a melodramatic asshole.
All thousand words about ME ME ME AND ME and me and my projects and ME and MY FEELINGS and MY DREAMS and MY ME AND MY ME ME EM ME, and the escholastic need for a fancy verbose just above average enough to claim my intellect or my barebones skill with my non mother (father?) language.
You know that if you reach this point, you realise suffering is meaningless.
You can claim that pinpointing exactly which part of you aches the most doesnt meant you are special in any way. anyone can do it faggot.
i warn you. don't be remotely like me in this sea of words.
because even if i drown, i wont be seeing anything but my reflection.
if i kill myself it won't be a martyr.
it wont be a missed potential.
it wont be a buried genius lost by society cruelness.
it will be most average unfulfilling guy mad about his worthless not being enough for a heavy crown.
like if he even deserved any of that.
maybe not existing would be a better input that any of these thousands or so words.
I used to think I always think of others,... but this blog just details i can convince myself to talk about me and me and me and me me me me mem me me and me and later me and then me and me me m e me and my fellings and my me me my me and and my and my games and my comics and me and my feelings, and me and how i hate me and me and how me hates me and ame and my me and a nd me and me and me and me.
im wasting your time.
dont read.
do not be.
what do you even want from me?
you tell me to be disciplined, i buy a keyboard i practice piano eveyday, i learn code, i learn painting, i learn writing, i learn french. what else do you want from me?
why do you strike me with the miserable bit of pain that gives me right to nothing?
people with the 10% of my advantages perform the 210% of my best.
people with 210% of my problems manage better.
worse deprresion lives.
worse anxiaty calms
worse creativity writes
worse skills succed
why am i in the shittiest pool?
The one where even if i fall i wont be missed
not even by myself.
a selfish reckless faggot piece of shit.
hear me readme write me rememberme strikeme killme finishme createme acustom me tattoo me record me.
i will cling to your thoughts as a nightmare skeleton for i didnt even manage to exist by myself.
now i will be haunting the vulnerable. ill torture you if that makes me exist.