I almost puke tonight, the monstrosity evolution of my chain of thoughts, it’s such an agonising skill. I imagined the natural the worst, I wrote down in my mind the exploitation and vulnerability of every system or every measure we can take against the obscene, the profane, the wicked, the targeted vile.
What does that even say about me? It is horrible to think of it, and in some cases some monsters inhuman at best that turned into beasts would have augmented their libido from it. But me, my stomach turned and my system gagged.
What do you call that middle place in which you are a monster repudiating yourself for the uncontrollable feast of your thoughts?
It’s that game. The horse game. Yes it’s it. I’m getting horrified by what paths it’s taking me. But I’m horrified more by the apparent nature of the idea working in real life, like an apparatus used by the depraved and damned. The less than beasts. Could we have reached… the same idea?