On top of another
Stacking distance within I’m walking and I feel aimlessly, I’ve realised i don’t… care about stuff.
I am not happy or fulfilled
Sure it’s a good thing that the things I have but.
I don’t care.
Can’t win. Can’t loose.
I saw the empty corridor I walked by and I.. stepped into it. I was trying to find comfort. To find… peace? In darkness. But the sensors turned the lights on.
I have a girlfriend, I have friends, I have a project. But.
I don’t feel happy.
I feel… aimless.
They are waiting for me, but I don’t feel like going there.
I…. Want to drift away.
I mean, yeah it’s a good thing the publisher wants my game and it’s good I want it to go through. But. I don’t care?
I don’t fixate on it or I don’t worry about it. I simply don’t care.
Same with her, my girl.
I don’t feel like I need her, I don’t feel like I would die without her. I guess I want to be with her, I’m happy then, for moments. But I really am not ….. desperate.
I’m aimless, purposelessly and…. Void.
I think I’m meant to be lonely.
I’m meant to have my loneliness gene.
Things are really strange.
I’m worried I’ll do something I’ll regret.
Because I will care about it later.
What I think is me it’s not me. Could be me, but.
I am simply not there.
Where the hell am I?
And in brief moments like flashes I can see myself in her eyes and goddamn does it work, does it feel like a current flow of scent finally forms a shape and actually works, and for a brief moment things just make sense. Even if they are abstract or headed nowhere, but they just make sense when I look at her. And in some parts I wish it was always like this. I wish most of my time was madly falling in such called thing aproxiamate to love.
But when I’m not there. Nothin changes. Back the old steps