Maybe I am there

As I felt the warmth from her body escape my chest, I quickly realised the shiver sent down my spine, and with just quick words the whole context of my persona made doubt its verifiable quality.

What if I maladapted?

In a subconscious format of an unyielding immovable husk lacking so called feelings.

A psychopath is commonly misconstrued as a cold calculated sadist. A monster that belongs to the formulaic, straight and robotic function.

What if I lied myself within a projection of improper process. In a weakened state.

In a vulnerable stance.

In a psychotic reaction to high emotional distress.

Could it be?

Is that such a thing?

Could it be involuntary?

I have been thinking all this for so long that I have become a version that caresses any reflective response through emotions, a fallen symbol or persona of a tragic neutral and uncaring man. A man that only shows penance in sadness.

That man was never going to grow.